Cancer Survivor's Guilt: How to Recognize and Manage the Signs

Cancer is hard in so many ways, taking an emotional toll on the patient, as well as caregivers, family, and friends. Once treatment is complete and survivorship begins, patients may experience sadness, difficulty concentrating and sleeping, loss of interest in common or favorite activities, anger and feelings of helplessness and loneliness. But one emotion they might not have anticipated is guilt.

In most cases “survivor’s guilt” refers to the feelings of sadness or guilt a person may have after surviving a cancer diagnosis, often triggered by thoughts of those who didn’t survive or by seeing the toll that cancer has taken on their spouse, friends or family. But caregivers might also share some of these feelings as they work through what they’ve experienced. In some instances, the survivor’s guilt comes from the surviving spouse or children of the patient, who grapple with worry and questions about whether they did enough during their loved one’s battle with cancer.

Here are some ways to help cope with guilt and the emotions that come with it:

Give yourself time to grieve. It is important to understand that what you are feeling is normal and that it’s OK to experience guilt after losing a loved one or finishing cancer treatment.

Find a support group or seek professional help. Experts suggest connecting with others who are experiencing the same guilt and sadness. Cancer survivorship groups provide connection, reflection of shared experiences and healing. Professional counselors can help when the guilt is too much to handle or prevents you from completing daily tasks. Don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist who can help you express your feelings of powerlessness and grief and establish coping techniques to help you move forward.

Do something in remembrance of those you lost. Plan a gathering of family and friends, make a donation to a charity or volunteer at a local organization or cancer treatment center to help re-engage in life that is meaningful in honor of those you have lost or who have just started their cancer treatment journey.

Show a kind gesture to someone who helped you during your treatment. Send a handwritten note, flowers, or a sweet treat as a thank you to your care team or loved one who helped you through treatment. You can also “pay it forward” by encouraging others who are facing cancer or a similar experience.

Find a way to relieve stress. Processing emotions can look different for everyone. It’s important to find ways to help reduce stress and focus on what’s in your control. Yoga, exercise, meditation, journaling, and crafting can be powerful techniques to channel your feeling and refocus your thoughts.

Survivor’s guilt is normal, may come in waves, and can take time to overcome. It’s important to acknowledge your feelings and emotions. Talk to your doctor who can refer you to a professional counselor to give you techniques to help you move toward healing.